      
"Let's Fix the Kids!" by James J. Jones, Ph.D.
Introduction
Welcome and congratulations!
You are embarking on a great adventure. You have in your hands the "owner's manual" that you should have been given when you first started to raise your children. The principles you will learn and practice can change your family permanently if you will consistently apply them. This program comes with written material for more in-depth study and with audio tapes for review, recall and personal encouragement and validation. Make sure that you utilize both the audio tapes and the resource manual together.
Parental commitment
When two parents or caregivers are present, they need to stay together. This means that they both learn and apply the program equally; no good guy/bad guy (good cop/bad cop) games. When one person wants to play "Santa Claus" at the expense of the other, it undermines the whole program and confuses the child. No power struggles or games between parents allowed!
Daily time commitment
Set some time aside each day to review this resource manual and the audio tapes. Strengthening your family and raising healthy, responsible children needs to be at the top of your list of priorities. Eventually only 10 to 15 minutes of review per day will be needed to keep you progressing and "on your toes". However, in the beginning, more time needs to be dedicated to reading the material and listening to the tapes. Each day for the first month or so (or until you have read the entire resource manual and listened to all of the audio tapes at least once or twice) devote as much time as you can spare. It may take some extra effort at first but it will be well worth it.
Constant review
Each time that you listen or review you will gain more understanding. Your growth, and your family's progress will be in direct proportion to time and effort; there are no shortcuts. You must comprehend the principles involved and practice using them. Sometimes one person in the couple has a difficult time reading. Some couples prefer to set aside time when they can read and study together. Still others find that they progress better when one (who has more time or wants to) will study a section and then teach the principles to the spouse in their joint study time.
Remember: Small, sure steps
Don't take three steps forward and then allow two back. There is a pitfall in trying to incorporate a larger portion of the program than you have studied or are prepared to institute. Be thorough in your preparations, incorporate one piece at a time, and make sure that it stays in place. Do not jump to something new quickly and then allow your previous successes to fall apart. Whatever you institute must be sustained and continued to insure that your children will be convinced that you are very serious...and that "Let's Fix the Kids!" is here to stay.
7 Sure steps to success
- Personal study and review of the program daily. Do this through individual and joint spousal study of the resource manual and audio tapes.
- Both parents totally committed to the program. Follow through every time! Consistency, consistency, consistency!
- Hold regular husband/wife conferences (Executive Councils). Hold these as often as necessary at first but at least weekly after the program is going smoothly. This is for reviewing the program, critiquing its effectiveness, and making any necessary adjustments. These conferences are known as "Executive Family Councils". Do not parent accidentally, by crisis or by the seat of your pants! Mom and Dad need to "huddle" often.
- Hold regular Family Councils (all family members meet at least weekly).
- Plan a systematic strategy to implement the program. Outline a plan which identifies each specific concept, or part of the program you will use, and the order and time it will be introduced.
- ENDURE!...ENDURE!....ENDURE!.....ENDURE......!!!! It usually gets worse before it gets better, hang in there, don't quit now!
- Participate in a parenting group on a weekly basis. Both parents need to attend, unless one parent is out of the picture.
NOTE: If there is another adult in the home (such as a grandmother) who is also fulfilling a parenting role, she should also be involved in all seven steps above. It is best to work with "X" spouses as much as is possible and attempt to have similar parenting standards and practices in both homes the children live in. For the sake of the children this is important (consistency). If this is impossible, teach the children the obvious fact that different households have different values; and that they are expected to follow the rules that are in effect in whichever home they visit.
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